• Kitaabfarosh

CWG, From Why to What?

From Queen’s baton relay to toilet paper and astro turfs. The money marathon is on...

“You see the coefficient of the linear is juxtaposition of the haemoglobin of the atmospheric pressure in the country”, so said Anthony Gonsalves in Amar Akbar Anthony. Now try and make sense of it. Atleast try. You won’t. You can’t. For more than 30 years we danced to the tune of this lyrical cannibalism without thinking much. The Pied-piper who made us leap into the pit of fantastical alienation from logic and reason was none other than the ‘grand angry young man’ of 70’s. Now cut back to circa 2010. Though no anthropological linkage between the two, yet the ridiculous words of Anthony Gonsalves resonate with another pied-piper of our times. Bad times. Suresh Kalmadi, the not so angry ‘grand old man of India’s sporting shame’. But we are angry. After waiting for seven years, hopping over hundreds of ditches and digesting tonnes of dust all we get to hear is this. Switzerland based EKS and an Australian company SMAM having links with Mauritius based WSG is under investigation of ED for alleged fraud in CWG. Phew! Strange abbreviations puncturing our patience.

ED getting after OC of CWG who works shady deals with EKS, SMAM and WSG. My feeling is the scam will eventually end up in JT (Jhoomri Tallaiya). So Anthony Gonsalves’ coefficient of linear is in juxtaposition with the haemoglobin of Suresh Kalmadi atmospheric pressure of the CommonWealth games in the country! What? Scream, yell and bang your head at the nearest unfinished foot-over bridge. You will find no reason and logic.

And that is what we are being served from Shera’s den, day in and day out. Verbal noodles of Anthony Gonsalves mixed with Kalmadi’s vinegar and served cold. Disaster of a recipe. Tasteless and constipation friendly. You wait for seven years and all you get is some alleged doctored email sent by some scapegoat who rides C-stars cabbie at A-stars price and then huffs and puffs on extravagant treadmills. That is enough salt n pepper for the sugar coated national pride. It actually disqualifies the ubiquitous ‘common man‘ from the commonwealth. From Why Commonwealth? the question now asked is What Commonwealth?

When Mr Kalmadi came dashing from London, albeit without Usain Bolt, the baton was held so high that he almost mimicked the statue of liberty persona. Hail the torchbearer of freedom of our games, freedom from the age-old shackles of cricket. The country was game-bound. The state machinery lured us into believing that our pride rested on Shera’s back. And we, the omnipotent pride masseurs rode our way up on Shera’s back. But to go up one must first come down. And down we went. So deep, that entire Dilli is dug up. Holes emerging in possible latitude, flyovers criss-crossing our mind and workers somersaulting over our disbelief. Heaps of debris and tonnes of dust.

Duststorm delivered to dilliwala’s at every possible red light. And everyone asking a potentially unanswerable question - Will this debris ever clean up? When will the dust settle? When will we actually fly-over? But we Asses in the Holes, we forget that we can’t google any question to our leaders and get a reply. Forget that we live in democracy, not googleocracy. As for our grandma chief minister, Sheila Dixit, she just mesmerized us with her chandamama’s story till we woke up to craters everywhere. She’s prone to succumb to ‘lines’. Blueline or deadline. When will she tell us where is the finish line of all this destruction..errr..construction.

So from Queen’s baton relay to toilet paper and astro turfs. The money marathon is on. Actually a relay race with many hands passing, jumping, diving and running away with the tax-payers money. After all, it is for the greater common wealth.

In the end, Mr Kalmadi here’s some good news for you from my ‘source’. You said few months back that after Commonwealth, India will bid for Asian Games and also Olympics! This has now been included in the Encyclopaedia of Greatest Jokes of Mankind. Keep Laughing...

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